[ the idea of having something to call his own is such a foreign concept to sariel. he thinks about what that means for the longest time, blue eyes gazing over the space in front of him as though it could disappear at any moment. much like the simulated park from his memories, the way it fell apart into bits of pixels and data near the end.
when he looks back at belial, there's a part of him that wonders if this exchange is just as fleeting too. he closes his eyes when those fingers ruffle through his hair, when belial smiles like he always does while he carries the conversation with ease.
it's a nice feeling, he thinks, even if it won't last forever. ]
I don't need this much space. [ he says again, quiet and steady. ] Not even for the ants or other friends.
[ does he even have other friends to begin with? as far as he knows (given what little he understands about friendship), there is only one who matters and they're already here -
Oh? [ Belial cocks his head as he observes Sariel, eyes warm with amusement. It's interesting for him to make a request, and maybe Belial should be proud of him for it.
He's not, of course. Sariel's development in an environment free of his limiter and the chains of his assigned role has him curious about the possibilities, but he has no personal investment in such things beyond how they might be useful or entertaining.
Still, he lets one hand drop to around Sariel's neck, cupping his jaw as he guides him to meet his gaze, the other hand resting lightly on Sariel's chest. ]
Why's that? Do you have some nefarious intentions for me?
[ it makes no difference to sariel whether belial agrees to his request or not. disappointment is something that only happens when you have expectations, and sariel doesn't have many to begin with - if he had any at all. ]
I thought it would be easier... but you must have something arranged for yourself already.
[ with the head researcher, most likely.
when blue eyes meet red, there's only curiousity and mild confusion to be seen. this is the most contact he's had with belial for as long as they knew each other. ]
[ Back when Belial and Sariel had first worked together, and even before, Belial had grown accustomed to the reality that any of his suggestions, especially those in the past that had been particularly veiled, would always fly over Sariel's head. He had no interest in or knowledge of the intimacies that could blossom between people, and that had been fine by him, even though he always found the possibility of corrupting angels fascinating.
In the past, Belial would step back, lighthearted and at ease as ever, with no persona to maintain. They'd been in the thick of Lucilius' plan back then, and he had been less liable to take risks or push boundaries.
That's no longer the case. ]
Is that so?
[ He looks very much like a cat about to close in on his prey, holding Sariel's gaze steady. ]
[ sariel doesn't have much of an inclination to things like intimacy or anything related to it. whenever someone brings it up, they'll find themselves face to face with a pensive look on the angel's face and not much more. it happens right here and now too; the most he does is just blink at belial's question but he neither pulls back or shies away from how close he is. ]
Deputy Head... I don't understand how that is related to sharing this space with me.
[ what? it's an honest and logical conclusion.
maybe one of these days he'll grow used to the kinds of things belial says around him and everyone else. maybe he'll even react appropriately beyond just settling for confusion. all these maybe's and nothing really definitive, but maybe (once again) it's only a matter of time.
if belial keeps pushing his boundaries, surely there will come a time where something finally breaks. ]
[ The response doesn't deter Belial in the least, continuing to smile faintly as he pats Sariel's cheek before stepping away. ]
I'm just wondering if I should be worried for my chastity.
[ It's an obvious joke, yet one that likely won't land, but his attention has shifted for now, sweeping his gaze over the generic space before he wanders over to the panel that controls the design. He had messed around with something similar in Lucilius's apartment (next door), but hadn't made any real attempts to customize the space.
He presses a few buttons, and the room suddenly shifts, soft blues spreading over the ceiling while grassy greens paint patterns over the walls that mimic an open field. ]
Since you have so much space, I can steal some of it when I need to.
[ once belial releases his hold on him, sariel goes back to the usual slouch; maybe he's trying to make himself seem smaller. (it doesn't really work.) ]
I would never do anything to hurt you, Deputy Head.
[ it shouldn't be surprising that he doesn't take it as a joke, but he moves past it just as quickly as belial does. his focus is now on what happens to the rest of the room: the way it shifts from its default state to a sprawling open field, the simulated skies so bright and blue that it might as well be the real thing. it reminds him a whole lot of the room belial has whisked him away from not too long ago. ]
But this— Will it not malfunction like before?
[ there's no full immersion like in the amphoria room, but that doesn't stop sariel from reaching out to touch the walls. it feels solid against his palm, confirming that this isn't real and seems stable enough.
[ They move on, but that statement hangs in the back of his mind.
"I would never do anything to hurt you."
He believes it—for now. Though he doesn't think that Sariel feels for him the same do-or-die loyalty that he has for Lucilius, not when he's never tasted true freedom before, and not when he's never felt connection with another creature. Belial had lived free for two thousand years, with plenty of opportunity to people who had extended friendship toward him. And he hadn't cared for a single one.
But for Sariel, who would begin his life anew, there were no such guarantees. ]
No, the function of this is more limited. It focuses on one task, so it performs better.
[ this is the start of a new life, and here he is choosing to have it be status quo.
maybe it's just that sariel hasn't had the chance to experience what else the world has to offer. there are far more individuals out there that he has yet to meet, so maybe one of them can convince him this is probably (definitely) a bad idea. but until that time comes, belial will remain as the singular point his entire world revolves around. it's been that way since two thousand years ago and it's going to stay that way for a little while longer.
(he doesn't really see a problem in this.)
he's so focused on the simulated grassy fields that he doesn't even turn to face belial as he speaks. if one where to disregard the furniture left behind, then maybe it would have really looked like he's surrounded by such a peaceful sight. ]
This is fine. [ finally, he turns to face belial. ] This reminds me of an area close to Uriel and Raphael's cottage, so it's fine like this.
[ For a moment, Belial looks surprised when Sariel mentions Uriel and Raphael instead of the courtyard back on the Astral premises, but it smooths over easily enough. Sariel's fate after Belial had stolen his wings was impossible for him to control, but it doesn't surprise him that the primarchs were soft enough to welcome him into their fold.
It would be easy enough for them to assume that Sariel was nothing more than a helpless pawn in Belial and Lucilius' machinations, an assumption that wouldn't be entirely incorrect. ]
This is your space, so if it suits you, it suits me.
[ It's strange, he thinks, to imagine Sariel living in a domestic space like this, and not just because it's filled with things that have no relevance to primal beasts (a kitchen, a bedroom). A home implies a sense of belonging, the foundations of an identity.
What sort of self is Sariel going to build for himself? ]
You're going to have to take ownership, Sari. You'll be responsible for those ant colonies too. Can you take care of them?
[ it's strange for him to think of this in that matter: if it suits him, then it suits belial just fine too. this isn't the first time the other primal has taken his opinion into account but it's still bizarre to have this much... freedom? he thinks this is what it's like to be given a choice, or something really close to it.
he's not entirely sure what to think of it. ]
I understand. I will do my best.
[ he makes his way over to the dining area, and then over to the living room where the fields of grass continue to sprawl across the walls. ]
I will start with one colony for now. I don't know how the ants would feel if I took too many away from their home.
[ Or not. But he doesn't doubt that Sariel will figure it out eventually—he has centuries to master anything that he puts his mind to. A perk of being immortal.
Though, Belial's not sure how much he wants to be in a space surrounded by ants, but he can endure it for Sariel's sake, he supposes. For now, he turns his attention further inward of the apartment, crooking his finger to signal to Sariel to follow him. ]
[ there's a split-second where sariel is observing the simulated fields of grass, looking the part of someone who is deep in thought. whatever it is that came to mind is soon forgotten when belial's voice filters through, head nodding once. ]
Yes.
[ ... yeah, that's all he has to say before he's moving, long strides crossing the short distance between the two of them. he falls behind belial's pace but it's fine; he's more curious to see what else this apartment has in store for them.
(it'd be nice, he thinks, if this place can turn into something that suits both their needs. he'll try to work on that somehow.) ]
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no subject
when he looks back at belial, there's a part of him that wonders if this exchange is just as fleeting too. he closes his eyes when those fingers ruffle through his hair, when belial smiles like he always does while he carries the conversation with ease.
it's a nice feeling, he thinks, even if it won't last forever. ]
I don't need this much space. [ he says again, quiet and steady. ] Not even for the ants or other friends.
[ does he even have other friends to begin with? as far as he knows (given what little he understands about friendship), there is only one who matters and they're already here -
and then something dawns on him. ]
But if you would like to share it, then maybe...
[ maybe it might seem less daunting. ]
no subject
He's not, of course. Sariel's development in an environment free of his limiter and the chains of his assigned role has him curious about the possibilities, but he has no personal investment in such things beyond how they might be useful or entertaining.
Still, he lets one hand drop to around Sariel's neck, cupping his jaw as he guides him to meet his gaze, the other hand resting lightly on Sariel's chest. ]
Why's that? Do you have some nefarious intentions for me?
no subject
I thought it would be easier... but you must have something arranged for yourself already.
[ with the head researcher, most likely.
when blue eyes meet red, there's only curiousity and mild confusion to be seen. this is the most contact he's had with belial for as long as they knew each other. ]
I don't have any nefarious intentions...?
[ as if he's even capable of that. ]
no subject
In the past, Belial would step back, lighthearted and at ease as ever, with no persona to maintain. They'd been in the thick of Lucilius' plan back then, and he had been less liable to take risks or push boundaries.
That's no longer the case. ]
Is that so?
[ He looks very much like a cat about to close in on his prey, holding Sariel's gaze steady. ]
So you don't want to... hold hands?
no subject
Deputy Head... I don't understand how that is related to sharing this space with me.
[ what? it's an honest and logical conclusion.
maybe one of these days he'll grow used to the kinds of things belial says around him and everyone else. maybe he'll even react appropriately beyond just settling for confusion. all these maybe's and nothing really definitive, but maybe (once again) it's only a matter of time.
if belial keeps pushing his boundaries, surely there will come a time where something finally breaks. ]
But we can hold hands, if that's what you want.
no subject
I'm just wondering if I should be worried for my chastity.
[ It's an obvious joke, yet one that likely won't land, but his attention has shifted for now, sweeping his gaze over the generic space before he wanders over to the panel that controls the design. He had messed around with something similar in Lucilius's apartment (next door), but hadn't made any real attempts to customize the space.
He presses a few buttons, and the room suddenly shifts, soft blues spreading over the ceiling while grassy greens paint patterns over the walls that mimic an open field. ]
Since you have so much space, I can steal some of it when I need to.
no subject
I would never do anything to hurt you, Deputy Head.
[ it shouldn't be surprising that he doesn't take it as a joke, but he moves past it just as quickly as belial does. his focus is now on what happens to the rest of the room: the way it shifts from its default state to a sprawling open field, the simulated skies so bright and blue that it might as well be the real thing. it reminds him a whole lot of the room belial has whisked him away from not too long ago. ]
But this— Will it not malfunction like before?
[ there's no full immersion like in the amphoria room, but that doesn't stop sariel from reaching out to touch the walls. it feels solid against his palm, confirming that this isn't real and seems stable enough.
hopefully. ]
no subject
"I would never do anything to hurt you."
He believes it—for now. Though he doesn't think that Sariel feels for him the same do-or-die loyalty that he has for Lucilius, not when he's never tasted true freedom before, and not when he's never felt connection with another creature. Belial had lived free for two thousand years, with plenty of opportunity to people who had extended friendship toward him. And he hadn't cared for a single one.
But for Sariel, who would begin his life anew, there were no such guarantees. ]
No, the function of this is more limited. It focuses on one task, so it performs better.
[ He looks over at Sariel, amused. ]
What do you want this place to look like?
no subject
maybe it's just that sariel hasn't had the chance to experience what else the world has to offer. there are far more individuals out there that he has yet to meet, so maybe one of them can convince him this is probably (definitely) a bad idea. but until that time comes, belial will remain as the singular point his entire world revolves around. it's been that way since two thousand years ago and it's going to stay that way for a little while longer.
(he doesn't really see a problem in this.)
he's so focused on the simulated grassy fields that he doesn't even turn to face belial as he speaks. if one where to disregard the furniture left behind, then maybe it would have really looked like he's surrounded by such a peaceful sight. ]
This is fine. [ finally, he turns to face belial. ] This reminds me of an area close to Uriel and Raphael's cottage, so it's fine like this.
[ he perks up. ]
Unless... you have another preference.
no subject
It would be easy enough for them to assume that Sariel was nothing more than a helpless pawn in Belial and Lucilius' machinations, an assumption that wouldn't be entirely incorrect. ]
This is your space, so if it suits you, it suits me.
[ It's strange, he thinks, to imagine Sariel living in a domestic space like this, and not just because it's filled with things that have no relevance to primal beasts (a kitchen, a bedroom). A home implies a sense of belonging, the foundations of an identity.
What sort of self is Sariel going to build for himself? ]
You're going to have to take ownership, Sari. You'll be responsible for those ant colonies too. Can you take care of them?
no subject
he's not entirely sure what to think of it. ]
I understand. I will do my best.
[ he makes his way over to the dining area, and then over to the living room where the fields of grass continue to sprawl across the walls. ]
I will start with one colony for now. I don't know how the ants would feel if I took too many away from their home.
no subject
[ Or not. But he doesn't doubt that Sariel will figure it out eventually—he has centuries to master anything that he puts his mind to. A perk of being immortal.
Though, Belial's not sure how much he wants to be in a space surrounded by ants, but he can endure it for Sariel's sake, he supposes. For now, he turns his attention further inward of the apartment, crooking his finger to signal to Sariel to follow him. ]
But let's finish our tour.
no subject
Yes.
[ ... yeah, that's all he has to say before he's moving, long strides crossing the short distance between the two of them. he falls behind belial's pace but it's fine; he's more curious to see what else this apartment has in store for them.
(it'd be nice, he thinks, if this place can turn into something that suits both their needs. he'll try to work on that somehow.) ]